Me-me-me-me: It is me.

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:26

I need a reminder. Nope. I need a slap in the face.

Let me explain: It has been a rough four weeks. The kids have been arguing, resisting (and refusing) school work, leaving messes in every room and been disobedient.

The problem: Me. Myself and I. My reaction to this behavior has been ugly. Yeah. The kind of ugly where I have looked over my shoulder to make sure the neighbors didn't hear me.

My other sad excuse: I let an online debate (where the final punch was a personal dig) sink deep inside me. I was preoccupied with my own hurt to be reasonable.

I should let you know that I apologized to the children when I knew I was unreasonable, but my behavior shouldn't have happened in the first place.

Rash works are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18

The solution: God's Grace and me accepting it.

It is okay to discipline the children. It is not okay to imitate their behavior (guess which one I was doing). I have let situations/behaviors get out of control. I need to reel it in. Big Time. I have reread my "Parenting with Grace..." by Greg and Lisa Popcak. I have memorized the advice. I really love this book. It is based on "Theology of the Body" and very pro-attachment parenting. Just my style - minus the last four weeks.

But more importantly, I have opened my Bible. I have asked God for understanding, patience and grace. I have asked that I have the wisdom to show these gifts to my children.

Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. Proverbs 16:24

Why am I admitting to all of this? Because I think we have all been there (at least I hope I am not the only one who has lost their way). As parents, we need to admit when we are wrong, ask forgiveness and then strive to do better. Isn't this what we ask our children to do when they are wrong? I want to raise holy children and I need to be the best example of what that looks like. It would serve me well to remember that I am still answering my call to Holiness.

Above all, maintain constant love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

I love my children. Insanely love them. I often hug them and whisper to them "God gave me a GIFT when he gave me you." I usually start tearing up when I realize the reality of that. I am so blessed by these beautiful gifts. I need to remember that-especially during the times of trial. 

ps. Our home is happy again. We all prayed together, kissed and hugged. We are better for this bump but I hope future bumps will be smaller.